we lost an amazing friend, brother, son, and shredder this week. wildly tragic and hard to handle are understatements. few days of an irish funeral did not even take the edge off. i wanted to post a few photos of ryan to look back on. and this ridiculous video i recorded last summer. there is something so profound and haunting about pictures of the ones you have loved and lost...like they are looking back and now know something you do not. or they have found some kind of peace in a secret.
he was such a beautiful soul. wild to the bone. he could exist for months with a dollar in his pocket. he made friends everywhere he went. his energy was completely contagious. he was the type of person who really lived their life...fully. i mean hop a train across country with no money and find your way type of human. always had a guitar, skateboard and a book of tao-te ching on him. after he passed i read a passage he highlighted in that book..."we gain by losing, lose by gaining." i am trying to keep that in the front of my mind right now to stop the hurt.
so many good stories of his that i wrote down....doing drugs with fake celebrities in hollywood, train hop traveling, banjo-etiquette...he knew so much. one of the last times i saw him i was in a bad mood. i don't know if he could sense it, or if he was just being a sweetheart, but he hugged me and told me how much he liked my hair. "i love that you just let it do its thing! no one lets anything do its things anymore!" you were so right ryan.
one of our friends wrote this about him and it is dead on:
"What a total badass! Killer Motorhead mustache and ultimate meltdown metal licks. We can learn a lot from this dude: Keep a free spirit, travel like there are no borders, live deliberately, and always keep a smile on your face. The support for you this week proves that you were one of those unique individuals that influences everyone around you; a rare gift in a weird and often sad world. I don't know what is on the other side, but I am sure you are shredding the shit out of it (w/Dio)! R.I.P Brotha"
our friends took this photo of a quote he wrote on his wall:
"while living, be a dead man. and then, whatever you do, just as you will, will be right."
may you shine on forever ryan. you crazy, beautiful being.
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